The name of my blog, free thinking feminist originated from my beliefs about religion and spirituality and of course, my feminist philosophical framework/worldview. I consider myself to be an atheist and a humanist. My choice to let go of religion and God (all of them) freed my mind from “magical” and “mystical” thinking and increased my ability to fully hear and embrace science, reason, rationality, and truth. It is my “truth”. All people have the right to their own truth(s). People do not, however, have the right to enforce their version of the truth onto others.
My decision to stop believing in any god came after years of questioning and searching. I am 37 years old and I began to really start questioning when I was about 17. I wanted to know why the dinosaurs weren’t in the bible. I wanted to know who the people “on the mountain” were if god had only made Adam and Eve. I wanted to know how, despite the science that informs us, Adam and Eve produced the entire population and yet we have very few people who are mentally retarded from inbreeding and how we have so many different races of people. I wanted to know how Noah was able to fly around the world and gather up all of the animals and transport them to the Ark before the flood – and how he kept them from killing each other. I wanted know how god could be all-knowing and all-powerful but let babies die from starvation or cancer or at the hands of horrible parents. If god is all-knowing and all-powerful, then he/she either doesn’t care that people are suffering or doesn’t have the power to fix it. Neither of those are descriptions of the Christian god. If god is love, then why/how could he/she send his/her children into an eternity of fire and gnashing of teeth and horror for “disobedience”. I have children, and I could never sentence them to something so horrible, even if they did something horrible. Did that mean that I loved my children more than god loves us? I wanted to know why god said it was okay to stone your wife and children to death for disobedience; especially if she was woman. I wanted to know why prayer from thousands of people didn’t save my friend’s baby from a horrible, painful death. I had so many questions. To me, the only logical answer is that there is no god. I either had to believe in a god that seemed pretty terrible, or believe that it was a myth.
Seneca the Younger said this: “Religion is regarded by the wise as false, by the ignorant as true, and by rulers as useful”. Religion is crowd control through fear and shaming. It works because no one has really been to heaven or hell and been able to report back. The only way to believe is through faith because there is NO evidence. I only have faith in that which has evidence. I refuse to live my life by the “rules” of a god that is cruel, unjust, sexist, unloving, AND…there is zero scientific evidence that he/she even exists.
I choose to live my life by my own morals. I don’t need a god to know that pain and suffering suck, and to have compassion for others who experience pain and suffering. I don’t need a god who requires people to ask for forgiveness for their “sins” or transgressions but who otherwise doesn’t care at all what kind of horrible person they might actually be. I try to make loving, informed, compassionate choices always, because I am not forgiven. I have to live with my mistakes; thankfully my mistakes do not define who I am.
I am an active atheist. I participate in an atheist community and atheist sponsored events. I am open, or “out of the closet” about being an atheist because it is my truth; but also because exposure helps to reduce ignorance, fear, stereotypes, and intolerance. Aside from women, Atheists are the largest oppressed group in the world. I belong to both groups. The intersection of sexism and religious oppression is maddening; especially in Oklahoma. I dream about leaving this crazy, freaky-religious, sexist, racist state someday, but for now I am here to stay.